We've all been there. An isolated irregular heart beat or a weird discolored skin patch sets off a frantic Web MD downward spiral. But then we get bored and go back to watching whatever is on TV. Hannah can't turn it off though, and she can now add "paranoid hypochondriac" to her list of ailments that are slowly unraveling her. When David calls and demands the rest of her pages by the end of the day, it dawns on Hannah for the first time that she's in breach of contract. So, she calls her dad for advice (read: money) to get her out of her latest jam, but doesn't exactly get the response she was looking for. Up to this point, we always kinda-sorta feel bad for the way Hannah's parents have treated her. She's kept at arms length, they completely cut her off financially, and they hang up the phone when she calls them from upstate New York. But now we get it. They've seen this movie one too many times and have finally decided they're over it.
Marnie on the other hand, is living life to the fullest. She just gets to kick back, get her box munched and enjoy
weekend brunch with her new and improved boyfriend. In the last year,
it stands to reason that Charlie was just slaying girls left and right,
all of whom were smitten by the fact that he was designing screens for a TBD iPhone
app. Because that's how girls do. No matter, Marnie gets to reap the
benefits with an upgraded Charlie v. 2.0. Charlie isn't only more
sexually mature, he's also wisened up a bit, and puts Marnie on notice that she shouldn't expect to waltz right back in to where they left off. Doing this, Charlie is at last able to get the response out of Marnie that he'd been looking for during the entirety of their relationship: an apology and the acknowledgement that she actually loves him...and his money. We'll see how long this cash-grubbing ho sticks around once he gets sued for IP theft.
If Ray wants to keep Shoshanna,
he needs to stop dicking around, and fast. His lack of ambition has
become a "real issue". So, he heads to work on his day off to tell his boss he's going back to school. Or at least he tries to quit. Instead of returning home to Shoshanna with a degree in Latin studies and a Big Brown Bag filled with pastry shaped clutches, Ray comes back with a promotion. As Brooklyn Heights' newest coffee shop manager, surely Ray has done enough to impress Shoshanna. But not so much. Turns out the problem isn't really Ray's overall ambition,
but more his entire life outlook, shitty personality, lack of self
awareness, black soul, et. al. He even hates colors, pillows, and
ribbons, so I mean, like, really...come on.
As if Hannah's plunge couldn't get any worse, her behavior becomes even more dramatic and insane.
Hiding under her bed from Marnie is exceedingly normal compared to the
rest of her afternoon. Within a few hours, she's cutting off her own
hair and then soliciting help from her drug attic neighbor Laird to complete the look: a retro-chic bowl cut/mullet. When this doesn't prove
to be enough drama for her personal taste, Hannah faux faints and begs
Laird not to rape her...like last time. More amused than offended by her ludicrous and delusional accusation, Laird calls her the single most self involved and presumptuous person he's ever
met, before he walks out and leaves her to deal with her own shitty
problems. Getting dressed down by a drug attic loner should be enough of
a wake up call for most, but that's clearly not gonna get it done for
Hannah. Not yet, at least.
only person that can help her, the only one that can shake her from her
current nightmare state, is the only person who can match her unique
brand of weirdness. It's not gonna be her parents who no longer want the responsibility. It's not gonna be Marnie, from who Hannah is too embarrassed to seek help.
Who the fuck knows where Jesse is, so she's out. Even Laird doesn't
have a desire to sexually assault her. It can only be Adam. His spot is as soft for Hannah as ever, and he's most likely tired of having to go through Occupational Sex Therapy
with his new girlfriend anyway. Missionary just ain't his style. Adam
immediately identifies something is seriously wrong with Hannah, even
before seeing her OCD twitches, so he springs into immediate action. Running through the streets of Brooklyn only half dressed, dodging in and out of traffic, miraculously using FaceTime even without access to a WiFi network, Adam arrives at Hannah's apartment and kicks in the door. Sweeping her into her arms and holding her like the princess he believes she is he tells her "I was always here" as the season comes to a close and we can firmly believe that everything will be OK.
A lot of people I spoke to did not like this season very
much. Many of those same people did however like this episode and
thought it brought the season to an acceptable close. One friend asked
me yesterday "So what'd you think about last night's episode?". I'll
paste my response below, verbatim, rather than try to articulate some synopsis with a grander and more elaborate point to make.
Unfortunately, while it was a "feel good" episode it kinds of just became the same thing as every other show. The whole momentum and cult following they picked up from the first season, of being a true representation of relationships and the lives of 20 somethings kind of fell apart this year. It all culminated in that final episode. Rather than continue on the path set in that first season, the show devolved into a typical ending from any Rom Com, thusly, being a show that is not worth blogging about anymore.
It's been real, everybody.
Mad Men in just a couple weeks and guess who's pumped...