Tuesday, February 26, 2013

It's Time to Get Back to the Basics

Wanna know why, contrary to the opinion of most others, I didn't refer to Episode 5: One Man's Trash as the worst episode in the history of the series? Because I needed to save room for a potentially worse episode. This was that episode. In even simpler terms, this did not make for good televesion. Sunday night premium cable series that only run 12 episodes in a season do not get the luxury of having multiple filler episodes in a single season. That's for shitty network TV. GIRLS has now had 2 of these in the last 3 weeks. Believe me, there were more entertaining things I could have been watching on Sunday. Let's get into the episode, but know that I'm not done railing yet.

After a season and half of flighty behavior, Jessa's character is now being explained. Even before her dad appears, it's clear that he's the genesis of Jessa's flaky and unpredictable ways. Naming one of your kids Lemon, filling your station wagon with computers from the mid 80s, and living with a woman who's of the belief that we're all living inside a giant video game (because scientists are liars) is definitely enough to royally fuck up your daughter. Things might turn out ok though. Hannah is undergone a major metamorphasis: from "wound" to "cushion". They might make it through this weekend yet.

There isn't really all that much to do in the upper reaches of those sleepy Hudson River towns, other than look at vintage Penthouse (under rated activity) and eat the family pets, is there? So it stands to reason that once dinner is through, it's time for a little joy ride. Frank and his "friend" Tyler take Hannah and Jessa on tour of the country, complete with hairpin turns, whip-its, and stunt driving. Hannah gets to be the normal one for once and begs out of the car before there's a serious accident. But that's about where Hannah's level thinking ends. Before long, she's allowing Frank to jizz in her leg fat crease, smack in the middle of a grave yard.

This episode isn't about Hannah though, it's about Jessa. We learn that Jessa has already blown off her past 6 visits with her dad and that she's fully aware she and her family aren't "like other people". But are these explanations or excuses? Jessa expresses her disappointment in her father's inability to stay put, be reasonable, and act as an example of good behavior for her. All fair criticisms. However, if Jessa is able to recognize and correctly evaluate these things as character flaws, how does she have no ability to make changes in her own life? There's a clear cognitive dissonance here. It's incongruous to demand that her father suddenly become more responsible when she demands to be permitted her own free spirit ways. Is your life style a curse or a choice, Jessa? It can't be both. There's one other problem with this scene, as well. While it's a nice moment and does a good deal to explain Jessa's character, wouldn't it have been more impactful if, oh I dunno, she was actually in this season? What possible emotions can we be expected to feel for somebody who has been pushed aside as fringe character? Not to mention that Jessa's grand solution, when confronted with the ghosts of her past and abandonment issues and irresponsibility is to...run away. Brilliant. Not interesting.

GIRLS needs to make two major adjustments and they need to be made quickly if the show has any desire to recapture its appeal from Season 1.

1) Stop grossing out the viewing public, simply for the sake of grossing out the viewing public. I can watch 2 Girls, 1 Cup on the internet if I ever have that burning desire. (No link, you'll have to use Google). Listen, I get why Hannah went naked in the first season. Not all women have model bodies and it was a healthy expression of realistic female sexuality and all that shit. I get it. After that, Hannah's nudity came in waves. It was a real legit middle finger to all the critics who demanded that she put her clothes back on. I get that, too. That's fine. But now that people are seemingly ok with it, and even commending her for her bravery, who do I need to watch her bent over naked, pissing blood with a UTI? Seriously...what is being added to the show? What is being accomplished? I know it's not funny or amusing to guys. If it's some inside joke just for the girls, doesn't that go against what made the show interesting to begin with? Wasn't this supposed to be a show that all 20-somethings could relate to? Isn't that why I started blogging about it in the first place?

2) Get back to reality. The charm of Season 1 was that it was truly believable most of the time. Awkward relationships, getting dosed at a party, struggling to pay rent...these are the things that 20-somethings can relate to. We finally had a show that presented urban yuppie life for what it was (more or less). Most 24 year olds don't eat at places like this on a weekly basis or live in apartments that look like this. GIRLS started out honest. It was representative. It felt believable. Holing up with 40 year old divorce doctors and traveling to the sticks to bang 19 year old homosexuals in cemeteries does not feel representative. Or believable. Or entertaining.

In fact, it's about as honest as losing your virginity to Rihanna.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Happiness is finding a pencil, and some other shit

After last week's debacle, Hannah and the gang return for a much more typical (and clothed) episode. What's even better, is that once she gets over her wave of panicked nausea, Hannah can start working on an e-book. Her mentor may have only given her 1 month to complete the project, and he may or may not actually know what a pistachio is, but I just don't see how there's any way this can turn out badly.

On the other side of town, Booth Jonathan and Marnie are lying in bed when it's revealed that Booth's assistant, Sujin, tasted some of his rose water ice cream. Clearly, this is a fire-able offense and Sujin is relieved of her duties, permanently. Shorthanded and now in a bind, Booth asks Marnie if she wants to host a party for him that evening. Marnie, ever the social climbing wannabe debutante, interprets the request as hosting with Booth and not for him. So, while she thinks that things are starting to happen on "a fancy, nice level" for her finally, she's nothing but hired help.

Shosh wants nothing more than to give Ray's life a bit of a kick start, but this is a tall task. Ignoring Shoshanna's prodding to try out a business seminar, Ray has his ambitions fixated on a much more important goal: retrieving his lost copy of Little Women. Unfortunately, the book is somewhere in Adam's lair, and it now falls on Ray to retrieve it. Adam greets Ray with a tornado of fury, as anything connected to Hannah is enough to send him into a blind emotional rage at this point. Adam's outburst is nothing compared to his newly acquired watch dog, though. When Ray finds out that Adam actually stole his new junkyard pet, he dresses him down something fierce. Dog is an asshole. Dog is not treated that well by others. Dog is a victim. Dog deserves a shot at redemption. Dog is an extension of Adam.

With the show's two best characters finally put together for a significant amount of screen time, Ray and Adam sojourn to Staten Island on an Odyssey to return Dog. As the dynamic duo trudge through the muck and grime of the worst outer borough, they reflect on past relationships. Perhaps because they are both honest men, or more likely because they are kind of "weird looking", their views on women and most other things are remarkably similar. Well, similar on matters other than Hannah. When Ray drops some knowledge about Hannah being difficult, selfish, unattractive, and a somewhat terrible person, something in Adam snaps. In spite of his best efforts to rid himself of any emotional tie to Hannah, Adam's love for her is still deeply engrained. Overwhelmed by his own emotional display, Adam ditches Ray with Dog and goes home. Left to his own devices, Ray can't even convince the dog's rightful owner to take it back. Ray's a loser; this is something he has come to accept about himself at this point. His relationship with Shoshanna is one of convenience, laziness, and immaturity. He has no real ambition and no clear way to break out of his funk. He's just a fucking loser, a faggot who wears faggot pants, a kike lookalike, dog fucking loser from yogurt town. Not my words, but they'll do just fine.

While Ray cries all alone in self pity, Marnie is surrounded by all of her new "friends" at Booth's party. Hannah can only last through a half conversation involving periods, Dairy Queen, e-books, and other art shows before she pulls an Irish good-bye. As the night winds down, Booth attempts to pay Marnie for her work that evening and it is only at this point that she realizes she was not actual hosting the party...but working it. Marnie inevitably breaks down when she realizes her misunderstanding of the situation, but if she's looking for sympathy from Booth, she's barking up the wrong tree. You see, Booth had a different understanding from Marnie as well. He was under the impression that Marnie actually liked him for who he is...rather than the idea that he represents as an artist and a socialite and a minor celebrity. Once Booth throws a couple of wine bottles for dramatic effect, Marnie takes this as her cue to go home, leaving Booth with his own mess to clean up.

By the end of the night, Hannah is in bed and stuck on page one of her yet-to-be e-book. In need of some comforting consoling, she calls Marnie who is just as happy to be comforted after her night. But instead of an open conversation, the two hide behind facades of faux happiness. Hannah lies about her progress on her book and Marnie lies about her night also, pretending to be watching fire flies in Booth's garden, rather than huddled up next to a subway grate. The phone call stalls awkwardly as the breadth of their distance becomes obvious and they hang up, disappointed. If they can't be honest with each other, recognizing how much worse off they are when separated, there is little else to discuss.

Expectations. That's what this is all about, isn't it? Expectations and happiness.... What we expect from our professional success (Hannah); what we expect from our relationships (Marnie/Booth); what we expect from the people we care about (Shosh); most importantly, what we come to expect of ourselves (Ray). It's a reflective episode, more so than many others and it's not like Girls is ever light on the introspection. Charlie Brown might say other wise, but in my book, happiness is pretty easy to quantify. It's the relationship between what we expect to have, and what we actually do.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Who's More Disgusting: Guys or Girls?

After the last two weeks, between naked flabby ping pong and shared-bathtub snot rockets, I've come to a firm conclusion: girls are fucking gross. They're gross on a wholly different level from men. It's as if there's not even a remote sense of acceptable social norms on their part; an alien species living amongst civilized humans. So I went to a female friend and asked her if she could explain to me what the deal was. This was JayVee's response:

It should be noted that I'm an avid reader of Guys Watching Girls. Such an avid reader that you could essentially title this guest post I was asked to write as Girls Watching Guys Watching Girls, but that would come off way too confusing. You know, just as confusing as how I felt watching this past Sunday's episode where Hannah inexplicably holes up in a random dude's brownstone for 48hrs.

In my opinion, last Sunday's episode of Girls was HBO's new equivalent to The Sopranos series finale where the masses shouted a unanimous, angry "WTF just happened?!" But not in that fun retrospective way of, "let's deconstruct the episode to find the deeper meaning in it." No. Two days later and I'm still trying to process what the fuck happened coupled with a more knee-jerk reaction of, "man, I wish I could UNWATCH that shit and strike it from my mind completely." But I can't, so onward and upward or so they say.

After a brief Facebook IM convo with Matt, which centered around all the things that I despise in Hannah and how revolting of a character she is, he swooped in for the kill. A guest post request. But this request was not born solely out of Hannah's repulsive ways (i.e. naked ping pong or pretty much anything at this point), but also the previous week, which treated us to Jessa's bathtub snot-rockets, which apparently got Matt thinking "girls are just plain gross." Well, dear Matthew. I agree. I agree so much that I could've dedicated this post to all the reasons, as a female, I find girls to be gross. Seriously, girls are fucking GROSS. But have you done any self-examination lately? I mean, I'm sure at SOME point SOME female has told you that a certain thing you do drives them mad, right? If not, here's a starter list for you to contemplate.

1. Silent, but Deadly -- Yes, the sneaky deployment of bodily gas. We get it, people are gassy, girls are too, but the sneak-attack method of releasing said gas is disgusting. I'm not talking just a little wind-break. No. I'm talking about that stank that you boys release that basically can bring you to the point of choking and tears.

2. Persistent Ball Scratching - Not the quick itch and move on. The full on crotch dig, where you basically move your junk to excavate. You know you're guilty. I often wonder if every guy's junk (without known diseases) could be that itchy or is it more of a nervous tick? Are you simply checking to make sure it's still there? I don't get it. (Editor's Note: I sense a twinge of jealousy)

3. Peeing on the rim of the bowl and/or floor - I cannot comprehend this behavior no matter how hard I try. I used to chalk this up to laziness, I still believe that's part of the reason, but the bigger issue is probably that maybe your mother loved you TOO much. You were too-coddled. You were pampered. And now, as an adult male, you think all females will clean up your piss. Well, this is not the case.

4. Peeing in the shower - It seems counter intuitive to have TWO bullets dedicated to urination, but it must be said. You do it. You know you do. Pee BEFORE entering the shower...but see #3 as a reminder to get it in the damn bowl. I don't care if the shower provides "more surface area."

5. Speed Eating - This seems mild compared to the other offenses, but it's gross. It's frustrating to sit across from someone who basically scarfs down his food in less than 10 minutes. This behavior also encompasses, mouth-open chewing, exaggerated eating/drinking noises, and usually culminates in a belch. You're disgusting.

Granted there are more irritating and disgusting behaviors, but in my opinion they're probably smaller infractions and generally can be overlooked. Right? Or maybe I'm blocked most other behavior out of my brain... now if only I could find a way to block Hannah from my brain. She's a car wreck... and I just can't look away.

-- JayVee

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Sex, Cries, and Ping Pong Paddle Tape

It's been tough sledding for GIRLS on the ratings front the last two weeks. First going head to head with the Super Bowl and now the Grammys. No matter. Lena Dunham got to watch boyfriend Jack Antonoff (guitarist for the band Fun.) perform live on stage and then take home some hardware too. Fun. fact: before dating Dunham, Antonoff was with Scarlett Johansson. I shit you not. Talk about a nosedive down the pecking order. Another Fun. fact: the band decided to go with a period instead of an exclamation point in their name because, as lead singer Nate Ruess puts it "we're so boring that paint watches US dry." Only one of those facts is made up, try to guess which one. But that's neither here nor there. Never afraid to bare all, Dunham seemed determined to upstage the Grammys in more ways than two.

This episode really seemed to rub people the wrong way. I've received more texts and phone calls from friends regarding this episode than all the other ones combined. While the near unanimous assertion is that this was the worst episode in the history of the series, I do not agree. I do however think that it reeked desperately of self-seriousness and it tried way too hard to win some sort of recognition as the most profound 30 minutes in television history. It wasn't. It was far from it. Sometimes when you reach too much for the accolades, you fall flat. And that's what this felt like.

When Patrick Wilson (who is now sure to be a household name) enters Grumpy's with a rather benign request, he is met with Ray's hostility. Maybe Shosh isn't helping him relieve his tension as much as he'd like. Maybe Hannah's fleshy thighs put him in a horrid mood. Maybe Ray just loves having his trash in other people's cans. Whatever the reason for Ray's emotional outburst, Hannah is so appalled that she quits on the spot (or at least "quits" for the day) and head's straight to the customer's house to apologize. 

Racked with guilt, Hannah comes clean and admits that she is in fact the Trash Bandit. Joshua is amused by her earnestness and recognizes that, while inconvenient, the whole episode was a rather victimless crime. Despite the fact that he's a hard 10 and you should never stoop more than 2 points, Joshua accepts Hannah's advances. Hannah has now spanned the entire spectrum from brownstone owning doctors to semi-recovering heroin addicts, further illustrating the point that any girl can sleep with any guy, just so long as she wants to.

Here is where the episode starts to get slightly interesting. Their late afternoon romp turns into a full blown 2 day love affair. Hannah and Joshua play hookie from work and enjoy 36 hours of naked ping pong, sex, more naked ping pong, reading the paper, steaks, and other run-of-the-mill weekday activities. In a new twist, Hannah seems truly happy, and more importantly, comfortable. Comfort and stability are always elusive for the 20-something crowd and Hannah is now experiencing it all for the first time. But the comfort and whimsical dreams of a different life are fleeting.

As Hannah wakes up from her steam shower induced coma, she begins to sob uncontrollably. An epiphany hits her when she least expects it. All the things that she's mocked, that she's written about, that she's snarkily judged, these are the things she actually covets. Hannah is smart and sensitive but she is also lonely and poor. All college graduates want more for themselves and more poignantly they expect more of themselves. For some it's working for a noble cause instead of a boring 9-5, for others it's insane wealth that gives them the freedom to pursue their interests, but what Hannah realizes is that she has none of it. No fridge stock piled with food. No lemonade in crystal glasses. No installation of a solarium to look forward to. No job that makes a difference for anybody. Certainly no automated electronic steam shower. She might be a clever writer who wants to disavow the creature comforts through clever prose. But she's not special, she isn't unique, and she's certainly done nothing to earn those things. The realization hits her like a ton of proverbial bricks.

Hannah's blissful nonchalance is quickly (and correctly) re calibrated in Joshua's eyes into flakey-ness. Hannah emotionally unravels right in front of Joshua and although he does his best job to calm her and ease her anxiety, it's clear that this pseudo relationship is already dead to rights. As a pity present, Joshua allows her to stay one more night but when she wakes in the morning, Hannah realizes she's alone in the house. After taking out the trash and making the bed, Hannah leaves the brownstone and walks down the street alone as she's ever been. All she has is a ringing reminder rattling around in her skull of what could have been, a fleeting taste of what she really wants, and the painful realization that she is nowhere near ready for it.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Dinner is Served

The only question that really matters is ‘which dinner was more painful to watch?’ Normally, an awkward dinner with the in-laws is as bad as it gets (like I’d fucking know). That might not be the case here, though. Between butt plugs, a battle of the exes, and a boyfriend turned squatter, Hannah’s dinner party could be the runaway favorite as the more painful of the two. More on all of this in a minute.

For the second time, it seems like Elijah will be exiting Hannah’s life. But not his stuff. Hannah lays claim to every one of Elijah’s earthly possessions and since (a) George paid for it all anyway and (b) Elijah can’t afford to pay his final month of rent, he doesn’t have much of a leg to stand on. In a last ditch effort to hold on to some his belongings, Elijah tries to recoup some of his sunk costs in the form of Burrito add-ons (Guacamole, spinach, et al.) but when Hannah reminds him that he held on to their shared buttplug, the two call it even.

Since we spend the rest of the episode hopping back and forth between the uncomfortable dinners, I’m just going to take the liberty of listing out the most discomfiting highlights from each one, in bullet form.

Jessa's Dinner with the in laws:
- good first impression is squandered with a late arrival
- Jessa admits to hating the very restaurant TJ's parents selected
- it's revealed that Jessa has no job...and no real desire to pursue one
- it's revealed that Jessa's unemployment status may or may not have something to do with being a college dropout
- it's revealed that Jessa's lack of a degree may or may not have something to do with being a recovering heroin addict
-TJ's mom ain't no punk, she hollas she wants prenup, she wants prenup, YEAH
- God likely does not exist

Hannah's Dinner Party:
- Charlie, Audrey, and Marnie all realize they are co-invitees and will have to sit at a table together
- Audrey is blossoming mustard entrepreneur...Marnie has had zero success with condiments
- Shosh arrives late. Shosh lost her earring in a cab. Shosh lies to everybody. Shosh had sex.
- We never get to find out where Audrey shops for all of her headbands
- Shosh is graphically educated on the proper use of a buttplug
- the word "butthole" is repeated ad nauseam
- Audrey accuses Marnie of trying to get all up back in Charlie's butthole
- Audrey accuses Marnie of being a semi-suicidal, Stepford Psycho, stalker
- Marnie storms out. Charlie follows her out. Audrey storms out.
- Charlie tries to rekindle things with Marnie but gets shut down because now she's dating an Ewok
- Shosh realizes her boyfriend is homeless and squatting in her apartment

It’s pretty clear that Hannah’s dinner dominates on the uncomfortable-meter but that doesn’t mean Jessa is out of the woods yet. No, her evening is long from over. To nobody’s dismay and to nobody’s surprise, the Jessa and Thomas John arrangement appears to be at its end. Jessa’s free spirit nature is way more than Thomas John bargained for and TJ’s bland mediocrity is clearly a poor match for Jessa as well. All that said, I still think that the writers took a serious short cut here. As flaky as Jessa is, and as inevitable as the divorce was, up until this point there have been precisely ZERO misgivings regarding this arrangement. I mean shit, up until thirty minutes before the dinner, Jessa was whipping out her titties to get some late afternoon loving. In Episode 2, Jessa is lecturing Hannah on the depth of her love with Thomas John... so what's happened exactly? An uncomfortable dinner makes her realize that Thomas John is an uptight corporate goober? I don't buy it. Not to mention, the whole point of a trophy wife is that you're willingly giving up your money (or receiving money) as compensation for spending time with somebody you're not attracted to. That's the whole fucking point. How do you get blindsided by all of that two months into the marriage? To make up for this shoddy plot resolution, they try to distract us with a boob other than Hannah's, but I remain laser focused on the fact that this is lazy writing. All told, Jessa's negotiation skills are about on par with Dr. Evil so she walks away with a paltry $11,500. Weak.

In another relationship that makes little sense to me, Shoshanna and Ray have a heart-to-heart on the status of their arrangement. Ray is apparently broke, homeless, and thirty fucking three years old. Why he spends all his time with 25 year olds is a mystery to me, but I guess beggars can't be choosers. Shosh doesn't care though because she loves him and he loves her "so fucking much" also. But how? Normally I try not to delve too deeply into the show's plot points but I don't get this one either. Let alone how I think it's impossible for anybody to stomach the verbal onslaught that Shosh spews on a minute by minute basis, but somebody as cynical and dry witted as Ray would never (in real life) tolerate somebody so vapid. It doesn't come together or get explained what attributes Ray is attracted to in her. Oh...right.

To close out the episode, we obviously have to see Hannah's tits because a full 25 minutes has elapsed without that happening. In a quid pro quo of 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours', we do get to see Jessa's chest again so I guess it sort of cancels out the prior image. But not really. Finally fed up with her own antics and lack of life direction, Jessa breaks down. What takes place after that is something I can't say I'm very familiar with. At the end of my really shitty days, when I climb into the bathtub with my room mates, I'm met with moral support, solid advice, and a vigorous, deep scalp shampoo-ing. That's how guys do. Apparently girls are much more simple. They throw snot rockets back and forth at each other. That's enough. Nothing says "I'm here for you" like a well timed mucus fling. If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times. Girls are waaaaaay grosser than boys.

Bonus Coverage: Lena Dunham on Howard Stern this week. 

Friday, February 1, 2013

Kick Out the Jams...and the blow

This past week's episode was real heavy on the nose candy. This we already know. But it was also pretty heavy on the tunes. Lots of feel good music, lots of throw back music, and lots of party music. I'm not gonna list all the songs from last week because there are plenty of places where you can find that information on the interwebs. If you need help, here you go. Instead, I enlisted the help of our resident expert in music, Infinity Guitars, to hit you with a cocaine fueled play list. It's sure to get you jacked up for your weekend. Enjoy. 

The Far-From-Comprehensive Guide to Listening to Music While Snorting Cocaine
If there’s anything this episode taught us, it’s that cocaine and music are an inseparable pair. They go together so well that, like lamb and tuna fish, it’s a drag to consume one without the other. Right? Elijah and Hannah may be sinking to new relative lows while licking those nasty bar room toilets for gummies, but it sure sounded cool when they did it. That’s because proper music, when paired with cocaine, makes even the most deplorable public bathroom activities fun and adventurous. So if you’ve got a fat sack in your pocket and not a tune to inhale it to, fret not, we got you covered. Our gift to you:

Rage Against the Machine
If it’s your first time doing coke, no one’s promising anything but that your heart’s going to beat a lot faster, so since it’s breakfast time and you’re rarin’ and ready to go already, “Wake Up” is a logical way to start the day; go ahead and fuck shit up. While you’re at it, consume some nasal edibles while blasting “Killing in the Name.” I’m feelin’ the funk blast already.

Can’t You Hear Me Knockin? – Rolling Stones
Taking your coke with whiskey? Cool, us too. Try this opening riff with a nice thick line o’ powder and find someone to knock out. The Beatles never did much for me when it came to cocaine, but if Hannah and Elijah ever decide to do three tabs of acid and drink a bunch of cough syrup, we’ll be sure to do another one of these. Whiskey, cocaine, and the Stones: you’re officially ready to get your Cocaine Pirate Swag poppin’.

Da Funk – Daft Punk
Miss the dance tent in ‘98? The clacking bubblegum, the girls in tube socks, the Germans. Here’s a healthy serving of boom-bap eargasms to throw you back. You’re dancing, you’re having a good time, you’re sweating, you’re loving life. When suddenly… You can feel your gums again. No matter. Excuse yourself, make all that yay disappear inside your face holes, and get back in the mix. You can start the song over too, if you want.
Spike Jonze directed the video, and it’s pretty fuckin sweet. That dog could definitely use some coke.

Puppy – Netsky
EDM douche-noggins, this is for you. Play it, snort your shit, and get out of the bathroom. Bonus: There’s cowbell.

White Lines – Grand Master Flash
Legend has it that Grand Master Flash consumed $7,000 worth of cocaine in preparation for the recording of this song, but I just made that up, so who’s to say? Interestingly, despite the fact that it’s clearly an awesome song to snort yay to, it also clearly has an anti-drug message embedded within.
Think about that. Freebase!

Everyone Nose – N.E.R.D
All the girls standing in the line for the bathroom, all the girls standing in the line for the bathroom. We know what they’re doing. Cocaine. They’re gonna do a bunch of cocaine together and then come out all wobbly, and they’ll have enjoyed themselves because this was playing in the background. Sneezing up hundred dollar bills and shit. Pharrell most certainly knows what’s good.

And Some Songs to Avoid While Snorting Cocaine
Cocaine – Eric Clapton
It’s just kind of a bummer. Maybe this was fun to do cocaine to when they invented cocaine. This old ass live video is the closest you’ll come to enjoying it while inhaling that crystal white.

Ayo for Yayo – Andre Nickatina
We’re not going to make it easy to play this one, no link for you.

Kim - Eminem
You’ll be in a shitty, tweaked out mood.

And finally.... This

Enjoy the habit.

-- Infinity Guitars