Friday, February 1, 2013

Kick Out the Jams...and the blow

This past week's episode was real heavy on the nose candy. This we already know. But it was also pretty heavy on the tunes. Lots of feel good music, lots of throw back music, and lots of party music. I'm not gonna list all the songs from last week because there are plenty of places where you can find that information on the interwebs. If you need help, here you go. Instead, I enlisted the help of our resident expert in music, Infinity Guitars, to hit you with a cocaine fueled play list. It's sure to get you jacked up for your weekend. Enjoy. 

The Far-From-Comprehensive Guide to Listening to Music While Snorting Cocaine
If there’s anything this episode taught us, it’s that cocaine and music are an inseparable pair. They go together so well that, like lamb and tuna fish, it’s a drag to consume one without the other. Right? Elijah and Hannah may be sinking to new relative lows while licking those nasty bar room toilets for gummies, but it sure sounded cool when they did it. That’s because proper music, when paired with cocaine, makes even the most deplorable public bathroom activities fun and adventurous. So if you’ve got a fat sack in your pocket and not a tune to inhale it to, fret not, we got you covered. Our gift to you:

Rage Against the Machine
If it’s your first time doing coke, no one’s promising anything but that your heart’s going to beat a lot faster, so since it’s breakfast time and you’re rarin’ and ready to go already, “Wake Up” is a logical way to start the day; go ahead and fuck shit up. While you’re at it, consume some nasal edibles while blasting “Killing in the Name.” I’m feelin’ the funk blast already.

Can’t You Hear Me Knockin? – Rolling Stones
Taking your coke with whiskey? Cool, us too. Try this opening riff with a nice thick line o’ powder and find someone to knock out. The Beatles never did much for me when it came to cocaine, but if Hannah and Elijah ever decide to do three tabs of acid and drink a bunch of cough syrup, we’ll be sure to do another one of these. Whiskey, cocaine, and the Stones: you’re officially ready to get your Cocaine Pirate Swag poppin’.

Da Funk – Daft Punk
Miss the dance tent in ‘98? The clacking bubblegum, the girls in tube socks, the Germans. Here’s a healthy serving of boom-bap eargasms to throw you back. You’re dancing, you’re having a good time, you’re sweating, you’re loving life. When suddenly… You can feel your gums again. No matter. Excuse yourself, make all that yay disappear inside your face holes, and get back in the mix. You can start the song over too, if you want.
Spike Jonze directed the video, and it’s pretty fuckin sweet. That dog could definitely use some coke.

Puppy – Netsky
EDM douche-noggins, this is for you. Play it, snort your shit, and get out of the bathroom. Bonus: There’s cowbell.

White Lines – Grand Master Flash
Legend has it that Grand Master Flash consumed $7,000 worth of cocaine in preparation for the recording of this song, but I just made that up, so who’s to say? Interestingly, despite the fact that it’s clearly an awesome song to snort yay to, it also clearly has an anti-drug message embedded within.
Think about that. Freebase!

Everyone Nose – N.E.R.D
All the girls standing in the line for the bathroom, all the girls standing in the line for the bathroom. We know what they’re doing. Cocaine. They’re gonna do a bunch of cocaine together and then come out all wobbly, and they’ll have enjoyed themselves because this was playing in the background. Sneezing up hundred dollar bills and shit. Pharrell most certainly knows what’s good.

And Some Songs to Avoid While Snorting Cocaine
Cocaine – Eric Clapton
It’s just kind of a bummer. Maybe this was fun to do cocaine to when they invented cocaine. This old ass live video is the closest you’ll come to enjoying it while inhaling that crystal white.

Ayo for Yayo – Andre Nickatina
We’re not going to make it easy to play this one, no link for you.

Kim - Eminem
You’ll be in a shitty, tweaked out mood.

And finally.... This

Enjoy the habit.

-- Infinity Guitars

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